I have had children in the public school system for more years than I care to admit and in that time have witnessed a transfer of responsibility for success from the student to the parent. This transfer is becoming so apparent that even the notes home from school imply that the parents need to step-up their supervision in order to get positive results from their children. Professors at the college level are even reporting unprecedented amounts of parental interference and involvement where none existed in the past.

My hope for the future is that the schools will encourage parents to back away from this type of involvement in their children’s school work, and instead establish that it is the job of the child to do their work and not the job of the parent. If I were the Dean of Discipline at any high school, I would write the following letter to the parents of my students:

Dear Parents,
There is a new program called Infinite Campus that is set up to allow you to log on and track the academic progress of your children daily. You can check multiple times a day and know exactly what grades your children are receiving and whether or not they are turning in assignments. I would encourage you to ignore this software and instead sit down with your children and set high expectations for their school years. You should make it very clear that you have no intention of being a student any longer in the same way that you do not expect your children to take on the responsibility of parenting. You can encourage your children to log on if they want to track their own progress and their own grades, but what message are you really sending if you are logging on? Aren’t you telling your child that you don’t trust them to turn in their school work? Aren’t you sending the message that you don’t believe them when they tell you they have completed their homework? If you haven’t established this responsibility by now, what will you be accomplishing by confirming that your child doesn’t take school work seriously? Your time would be better spent taking parenting classes and spending quality time with your child where he can learn to respect you and learn to respect himself. If he can’t turn in his assignments, you should already have clear cut established consequences that would include taking his car, taking his phone, and taking away all of his extracurricular activities until he makes school the primary goal in his life. I can promise you that nothing will be gained from your daily nagging to do his work. Sadly, it may be too late to even help your child as these priorities should have been established years ago. Your child should have known from the start that his schoolwork was his responsibility and that you had no intention of doing it for him. Or making sure he turned it in. The teachers may act like they are fans of Infinite Campus, but I assure you, they are bigger fans of students that show up prepared, respectful and ready to learn. Speaking of being respectful, I will not waste my time explaining that there is a dress code at this school. If you have ever let your child leave the house dressed inappropriately, then shame on you. If you are buying clothes that don’t meet our dress code, you are a part of the problem, but your child should be responsible enough by this age that he would be unwilling to break our rules. In fact, he should be embarrassed to break the rules. In the end, your student should be well aware of the dress code and the ultimate blame will fall on him and there will be consequences. We will not be afraid to enforce them no matter how popular or athletic your child might be. We are even willing to lose the big football game on Friday night to make sure your son becomes a better man.

Sincerely,
The Dean of Discipline

Since I am not at Dean of Discipline, I can only dream of receiving a letter like this. Instead, I am bombarded with every tip imaginable to be taking charge of my children’s work. The reality in my house is quite a bit different. My children know that I have never logged on to Infinite Campus and if there ever comes a time when I feel like I need to, life as they know it will drastically change. This parenting style has worked perfectly for 14 years and I am certain it will continue to work until our last child graduates and becomes an independent and responsible adult.