Tag: Cancer

A mother’s love can last for generations

May 7, 2016Comments Off on A mother’s love can last for generationsBlog

This past November, my oldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. As cancer treatment does to people, it has consumed her daily life and each day has involved preparing for surgery, or chemo, or shots, or tests, or waiting on results. She has been amazing and is reaching her last part of her journey and then the day when she feels normal once again.

Walking beside her this entire way has been my mom. She has been there for every appointment and chemotherapy session, and held her hand as she came out of every procedure and ultimately surgery to remove the tumor. She has brought her meals and been a loving nurse to her as she suffered the effects of chemo on her entire body. She has cared for her at my sister’s house at her own house. She was there standing next to her when she rang the bell indicating the end of chemo treatments. She has provided a comfort and peace that comes from a caring mother and I am lucky that she is my mom as well.

I’ve learned everything I need to know from my mom. There are times to be strong but there are also times when you are going to fall. When you fall, it is perfectly acceptable to cry and hurt and be angry as you slowly make your way to your feet again. You do have to make your way to your feet again; sometimes you will take strength from those who need you to stand firmly once again. Life will make you laugh and smile, but it will also hurt you and take away things you hold so dear. Some days you will have confidence in every decision you make. Other days you will look yourself in the mirror and question every detail of your existence.

A loving mom will help you realize that all of these things are normal and will be there to support you through every crazy phase of your life. She will even be there if you get sick like my sister did, and hold you through it just like she held you through every ear infection, new tooth, first love, and first heartbreak. Most importantly, she will teach you how to be a mom yourself one day just like her own Mom taught her.

In my own life, I just celebrated my son’s 20th birthday. It’s hard not to think back to when he was born and all of the hopes and dreams I had for him. Would I have what it takes to be a strong mother who could raise a respectful and caring man? Would I be able to show him my strengths and weaknesses so he could learn to be human and accept that none of us are perfect?

I recently was invited by my son to speak to his fraternity about ethics in business and I received a text from him after. He wrote “Thanks again for coming tonight and for everything you do. I would obviously not be anywhere near the position I’m in today if I didn’t have your love and support. A lot of my fraternity brothers came up to me and told me how amazing you are. I felt like the luckiest son alive. Love you Mom.” I credit my mom for that text. It is everything she taught me that leads me to receiving a message like that from my own son.

I have six other kids that I love and adore as well. Three of them are my biological children and three of them are stepchildren. When you learn to love and give everything you have, you don’t care how a child has come into your life. It doesn’t matter if you gave birth to them, adopted them, or became a part of their life through marriage. You love them all with passion and grace and hope that someday they will do the same for their own children.

My youngest son, who is now 10 months old, is crawling everywhere and beginning to want to take his first assisted steps. He cautiously finds my hand or leg with each step and always looks back with a little bit of fear and a little bit of satisfaction. He knows I won’t let go right now but he should also know that someday I will have to let go in small ways and then in really big ways. He will learn that I will let him grow his wings and not stop him when he is ready to take off and fly.

This is the hard and heartbreaking work of a mom. It takes one generation after another of loving mothers to build a large family full of love, trust, loyalty, reliability, and laughter. Mother’s Day is a special day to recognize all of these women that have brought children into the world, adopted children, or helped raise children that aren’t their own. Some of you have already lost your own moms and know the pain of losing your mentor and best friend. I think that pain can only be comforted by looking at your own children and grandchildren and knowing that your mom played a role in their successes.

I wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day today. Regardless of how you became a mom, the world is a better place because of you and the support you provide all of the children that call you Mom. If you are like me, your Mother’s Day will probably involve watching children or grandchildren play some type of sport and then hopefully you can get together as a family and celebrate the greatness of all of the moms that make up your incredible family.

Katie Coombs is the host of the radio show “Uncommon Sense with Katie Coombs.” You can reach her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/UncommonSenseKC/.

My Sister Has Cancer

February 9, 2016Comments Off on My Sister Has CancerBlog

I have known people who have successfully fought the battle against breast cancer. I have lost a very dear friend who left behind 3 boys. I have even had guests on my radio show fighting the disease and was so impressed with their strength and resilience.

You always remember where you are when you get the phone calls that alter your life. When my father called to tell me had had terminal cancer, I was driving down the Mount Rose Highway to get to an appointment with a client. It was surreal walking into the Starbucks and meeting with the client. Life just suddenly had to move on right then no matter what call I had just received. I felt that way as he died when I looked out the window and a golfer was looking in for a brief second as he retrieved his bad shot that almost hit my dad’s window. He just picked up his ball and walked off to go hit his next bad shot. We made brief eye contact and I am sure he knew he was looking at a man who had just died.

When my sister called to tell me that she found a lump in her breast and was getting an ultrasound I just knew. I knew it was going to be cancer. My sister Kristy is not an alarmist and she wouldn’t call with that type of news unless she was very concerned. I never once believed it was anything but cancer as much as I wanted it to just be a cyst. She was diagnosed with cancer in December 2015 and had surgery the Monday before Christmas. We were so hopeful that she would only need radiation but the tests revealed that chemotherapy was also going to be on her menu of cancer treatments.

That scared her the most I believe. The diagnosis shocked us all. The surgery was somewhat of a relief to get the cancer out of there but the need for chemo just scared everyone. She will no longer be able to finish her school year as a first grade teacher. She will lose her hair. She will have side effects that make it hard to be a single mom as if that wasn’t hard enough. Ironically, I was scheduled for my own mammogram during her surgery and checking the box that we had a family history of breast cancer was upsetting and all too real.

They say the whole family gets cancer when someone is diagnosed and now I think I know what they mean. We all just feel sick and sitting in an oncologist’s office is depressing as you look around at all of the people fighting this cruel disease. My sister wasn’t supposed to be here. She is too well – she is just too everything. She is too nice, too loyal, too sweet, too innocent. Her kids need her healthy. Her students need her healthy. I need her healthy. I’m sure everyone feels this way when they have a family member get diagnosed.

I have watched her go through an emotional roller coaster and it breaks my heart. She has been brave and then terrified. She has cried, yelled, laughed, and just stared off into the distance at times. We feel that it was caught early enough that she will be ok in the long run but not before a very difficult journey. She starts chemo tomorrow and I just don’t want that to be the case. I don’t want something that will feel like poison running through her veins but that is the reality and I have to accept it. She won’t be able to return to her job as a 1st grade teacher until next school year and this breaks her heart and mine too. She is more worried about her students than herself it seems.

We have a big supportive family and we will all be there for her night and day. We have had some pretty interesting conversations including her telling me that cancer is fu&%#ing boring. I agree Kristy. It is! There are better things to do with life than have to fight this disease that nobody deserves. I’m biased to say that you deserved it the least. I would take your place if I could just to make your life feel easier right now. I’m so sorry. I love you and we have you from start to finish.   I still am willing to shave my head with you but so far she doesn’t agree with that! We shall see. Nobody should feel alone when they are going through cancer treatments. Especially my big sis.

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