Tag: kids

A mother’s love can last for generations

CourtneyOMay 7, 2016Comments OffBlog

This past November, my oldest sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. As cancer treatment does to people, it has consumed her daily life and each day has involved preparing for surgery, or chemo, or shots, or tests, or waiting on results. She has been amazing and is reaching her last part of her journey and then the day when she feels normal once again.

Walking beside her this entire way has been my mom. She has been there for every appointment and chemotherapy session, and held her hand as she came out of every procedure and ultimately surgery to remove the tumor. She has brought her meals and been a loving nurse to her as she suffered the effects of chemo on her entire body. She has cared for her at my sister’s house at her own house. She was there standing next to her when she rang the bell indicating the end of chemo treatments. She has provided a comfort and peace that comes from a caring mother and I am lucky that she is my mom as well.

I’ve learned everything I need to know from my mom. There are times to be strong but there are also times when you are going to fall. When you fall, it is perfectly acceptable to cry and hurt and be angry as you slowly make your way to your feet again. You do have to make your way to your feet again; sometimes you will take strength from those who need you to stand firmly once again. Life will make you laugh and smile, but it will also hurt you and take away things you hold so dear. Some days you will have confidence in every decision you make. Other days you will look yourself in the mirror and question every detail of your existence.

A loving mom will help you realize that all of these things are normal and will be there to support you through every crazy phase of your life. She will even be there if you get sick like my sister did, and hold you through it just like she held you through every ear infection, new tooth, first love, and first heartbreak. Most importantly, she will teach you how to be a mom yourself one day just like her own Mom taught her.

In my own life, I just celebrated my son’s 20th birthday. It’s hard not to think back to when he was born and all of the hopes and dreams I had for him. Would I have what it takes to be a strong mother who could raise a respectful and caring man? Would I be able to show him my strengths and weaknesses so he could learn to be human and accept that none of us are perfect?

I recently was invited by my son to speak to his fraternity about ethics in business and I received a text from him after. He wrote “Thanks again for coming tonight and for everything you do. I would obviously not be anywhere near the position I’m in today if I didn’t have your love and support. A lot of my fraternity brothers came up to me and told me how amazing you are. I felt like the luckiest son alive. Love you Mom.” I credit my mom for that text. It is everything she taught me that leads me to receiving a message like that from my own son.

I have six other kids that I love and adore as well. Three of them are my biological children and three of them are stepchildren. When you learn to love and give everything you have, you don’t care how a child has come into your life. It doesn’t matter if you gave birth to them, adopted them, or became a part of their life through marriage. You love them all with passion and grace and hope that someday they will do the same for their own children.

My youngest son, who is now 10 months old, is crawling everywhere and beginning to want to take his first assisted steps. He cautiously finds my hand or leg with each step and always looks back with a little bit of fear and a little bit of satisfaction. He knows I won’t let go right now but he should also know that someday I will have to let go in small ways and then in really big ways. He will learn that I will let him grow his wings and not stop him when he is ready to take off and fly.

This is the hard and heartbreaking work of a mom. It takes one generation after another of loving mothers to build a large family full of love, trust, loyalty, reliability, and laughter. Mother’s Day is a special day to recognize all of these women that have brought children into the world, adopted children, or helped raise children that aren’t their own. Some of you have already lost your own moms and know the pain of losing your mentor and best friend. I think that pain can only be comforted by looking at your own children and grandchildren and knowing that your mom played a role in their successes.

I wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day today. Regardless of how you became a mom, the world is a better place because of you and the support you provide all of the children that call you Mom. If you are like me, your Mother’s Day will probably involve watching children or grandchildren play some type of sport and then hopefully you can get together as a family and celebrate the greatness of all of the moms that make up your incredible family.

Katie Coombs is the host of the radio show “Uncommon Sense with Katie Coombs.” You can reach her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/UncommonSenseKC/.

Christy

CourtneyOJune 29, 2015Comments OffConversations

This article is me as well I believe thought i haven’t started the process. I know I have too much sugar and for my kids too. Do you have recipes to share that help ? And I would love to see the snacks yo give your kids. I am ready to get rolling on this asap and get my energy back!

Thank you for sharing your story!
Christy

Hi Christy,

The best recipes come from Paleo cookbooks even though I don’t follow Paleo exactly. The kids snack on lots of chopped vegetable and fruits or nuts and seeds. They do not eat as clean as I do but we are slowly getting them transitioned. They always eat a clean dinner.

I have also had lots of success on Google. You can just google clean chicken recipes or sugar free/carb free meal ideas and there is so much that comes up. You will eventually stop living to eat and completely shift to eating to live. Food isn’t about variety or even taste anymore but about health. With that said, some of the recipes out there are delicious. I own about three Paleo cookbooks and we use those lots.

Good luck in your journey. Check back in and let me know how it goes!

Katie Coombs

10/02/2014

CourtneyOOctober 5, 2014Comments OffBlog, Chris

Katie had a really rough night last night. She was very anxious trying to go to sleep and finally drifted off only to be up again at 3:00 am. Her heart was racing and she had pain in her legs that was new and concerning. She was up for about 3 hours before being able to get back to sleep for a little bit. I felt really bad for her. It’s one of those situations where you want to help in some way, in any way, but there isn’t anything you can really do. She was back up again at 7 am, took her shots like a champ, we got the kids off to school and then rushed over to our daily appointment with the doctor. They did another ultrasound to check the follicle development in her ovaries and were able to identify 6-7 that were coming along nicely. I told Katie that all we need is one, so 6-7 is more than enough. She scoffs at my optimism at times, but until proven wrong I’m sticking with it. After the ultrasound we met with the doctor to discuss how Katie had been feeling and he validated her anxiety as he said the process causes many women to be anxious. Then, they told us to come back tomorrow and sent us on our way.

10/03/2014

CourtneyOOctober 3, 2014Comments OffBlog, Chris

Last night was a great night at the house. There were several kid activities going on so there was a bit of running around, but it all went smoothly. We always enjoy the evenings, but last night was one of those unexplainable nights where everything is just a little bit better…….things get accomplished with seemingly little effort, people are laughing and relaxing……stuff like that. Just a good night. Which I really appreciated because Katie had had such a rough night before. After the kids went to sleep we were going to watch a TV show we had recorded and Katie conked out before the credits. Good. She also slept pretty well and woke up this morning feeling 100% better than the day before, which is not to say she felt great, but better. We went off to our appointment and this morning the doctor performed the ultrasound to check her follicle growth. The 6-7 from the day before are growing along nicely with one who is especially in the lead. The doc also told us that we’re on track for an extraction on Monday (in 3 days) which was good to hear because good, bad or otherwise, Katie and I both live and die by THE SCHEDULE. So, now that we have one we can both relax a bit. Also, Katie only needs to do shots through tomorrow night and I’m glad for her so she doesn’t need to keep puncturing her abdomen.

After today’s appointment I was pretty emotional for some reason. I’ve been excited, but this was different and I’m still not 100% sure why. Up until now I’ve just been trying to help Katie with her shots and make her comfortable however I can (typical guy step-to-step-to-step behavior I suppose), but with the extraction on Monday we’re close to the point where they fertilize the egg and see how things go. While this process obviously isn’t the typical way to have children, it still involves the merging of your core with someone you love and there is something very pure and special about it, albeit more scientific. Katie is pretty amazing and I’m a lucky guy to get to share this with her. So there you go. [DISCLAIMER – clearly this paragraph will impact my man card street cred status and so be it. S**t happens]

I’d Rather Not Be Right

CourtneyOJuly 30, 2014Comments OffBlog

We were talking about the way that different people deal with conflict and she said “you have to choose to either be right or to be intimate.” The statement resonated with me as I looked at different aspects of my life.

I wasn’t raised in a world of right and wrong like so many people were. I hear people all of the time say things like “you are right, I was wrong,” and I never really understand it. We all bring different perspectives to the table and nobody is ever truly right or truly wrong. One of the hardest questions I have ever been asked in my life by a very intelligent friend was “what was your 50 percent responsibility to your divorce?” It’s not that I didn’t feel responsible for my divorce, but at the time I was angry and sad and it was easier to point fingers than look inside myself for that answer. Once I answered it in my own heart and mind, it allowed me to have a closer relationship than I would have otherwise with my ex-husband. I chose to be intimate instead of right.

I watch all of the political fighting going on in our world today and the same thing comes to mind. What if the two sides stopped focusing on being right, and instead focused on getting along and building their relationships? Not only would the politicians benefit from living this way, but the whole world would be a more functional place. Everyone is focused on which side is “right,” rather than forging intimate relationships for the good of all. The social media sites are full of people screaming at one another about why they are right rather than people seeking common ground to find solutions. It is happening right now in the Gaza Strip and clearly it is time to admit that nobody is going to agree on who is right but perhaps they should figure out how to stop the killing of innocent people.

I sat my kids down last week and asked them what this meant to them. Would they rather be right or have close relationships with one another? It stopped them all in their tracks. The last few days when a small argument has ensued, I have asked them if they want to be right or close rather than try to intervene and determine who is at fault. My daughters, all on their own, found a solution to sharing some shirts they both like to wear but had been arguing over for several months. My younger daughter, who would admit her stubbornness and feistiness, is now keeping all of the shirts in her sister’s room since she knows she can borrow them at any time. They chose to be close, rather than focus on who was right and who was wrong. No more fighting and everyone felt good, not right.

This little sentence is changing my entire perspective. I would always rather be close than be right. People that are right just end up right. They end up alone and isolated. I don’t know if they even feel good being “right” once they have established in their own minds that they are indeed “right.” The people that they have made feel “wrong” have a lost a pound of their flesh and a part of their soul because they realize they can’t be close to the “right” person.

I’d rather not be right. I choose intimate relationships where people can make mistakes and learn and grow and compromise. Try asking your kids if they would rather be right or close the next time a fight ensues. It might just change your life, and theirs as well.

Disappearance of Discipline is Tearing Down the Country

CourtneyOApril 9, 2014Comments OffBlog

I’m starting to believe that the disappearance of discipline is a well thought out strategy by somebody who wants this great nation to collapse. It has been well documented that the emphasis on self esteem that is prevalent in our schools is resulting in college-aged adults who are anxious, depressed, and can’t function without the interference of Mommy and Daddy. College professors are being hounded by parents for grades they are handing out. My own Mom would not have been able to tell you who my college professors were or what my assignments might have been. She expected me to manage my affairs and that was an expectation set when I was very young. She had us make our own school lunches and participate in running the household so that we could somebody run our own households without her financial or physical support. We are all fully capable of doing that and don’t rely on her, or the government or anyone to eat or turn on our lights.

Convincing children that they are amazing and special and at the same time waiting on them hand and foot seems like a funny movie to watch but unfortunately it is being played out in households across this country. Children can demand things from their parents without even a simple please or thank you and we are allowing this because we don’t want to shame them or hurt their self esteem. Where do we think these spoiled, lazy, disrespectful children are going to end up? Do we really believe that they are going to be successful contributors to this nation? Do we think that we can just press a button on them when they turn 18 that will somehow make them hard working respectful adults?

Disciplined and well-mannered children are a must if we want to continue to compete in a competitive world. We have to start fighting back against the things we know will hurt these future adults. We all accept the notion of trophies for everyone at the end of season pizza party, but do we really believe it? Do we really want to reward showing up over accomplishment? What will be the motivation to work hard at a new job if everyone is going to receive the same salary and the same bonus? Even children are starting to scoff at these participation trophies realizing that there is a difference between “showing up” and showing up with the intention to work hard, improve, and even win.

When I read other blogs or Facebook posts about the reasons not to teach manners or have kids do chores, the word discipline is always shunned because it is associated with spanking or hitting. These writers believe that discipline means violence. It doesn’t. Discipline means nothing more than to teach. This teaching should involve structures and boundaries so that children can grow into meaningful adults. I don’t hit any of the six kids that live in our house although I can tell you that they respect authority and leadership because they have been taught to do that. They know that if they are asked to do something that they need to do it or there will be consequences. Just like life. Just like a job. Just like relationships. Our behavior will always have consequences.

We have to fight back against the somebody or the something out there that is trying to make everyone the same by removing discipline from life. We know it doesn’t make sense so we can start today by asking more of our children than we did yesterday. We can ask them to be responsible for their own school work, their lunches, and their laundry and set reasonable peaceful consequences if they don’t step up. It is one small way to show them a successful future that can be achieved through hard work and discipline. We are already far behind with many of these children so we can’t delay another day.