Month: September 2014

If I Were the Dean of Discipline

CourtneyOSeptember 17, 2014Comments OffBlog

I have had children in the public school system for more years than I care to admit and in that time have witnessed a transfer of responsibility for success from the student to the parent. This transfer is becoming so apparent that even the notes home from school imply that the parents need to step-up their supervision in order to get positive results from their children. Professors at the college level are even reporting unprecedented amounts of parental interference and involvement where none existed in the past.

My hope for the future is that the schools will encourage parents to back away from this type of involvement in their children’s school work, and instead establish that it is the job of the child to do their work and not the job of the parent. If I were the Dean of Discipline at any high school, I would write the following letter to the parents of my students:

Dear Parents,
There is a new program called Infinite Campus that is set up to allow you to log on and track the academic progress of your children daily. You can check multiple times a day and know exactly what grades your children are receiving and whether or not they are turning in assignments. I would encourage you to ignore this software and instead sit down with your children and set high expectations for their school years. You should make it very clear that you have no intention of being a student any longer in the same way that you do not expect your children to take on the responsibility of parenting. You can encourage your children to log on if they want to track their own progress and their own grades, but what message are you really sending if you are logging on? Aren’t you telling your child that you don’t trust them to turn in their school work? Aren’t you sending the message that you don’t believe them when they tell you they have completed their homework? If you haven’t established this responsibility by now, what will you be accomplishing by confirming that your child doesn’t take school work seriously? Your time would be better spent taking parenting classes and spending quality time with your child where he can learn to respect you and learn to respect himself. If he can’t turn in his assignments, you should already have clear cut established consequences that would include taking his car, taking his phone, and taking away all of his extracurricular activities until he makes school the primary goal in his life. I can promise you that nothing will be gained from your daily nagging to do his work. Sadly, it may be too late to even help your child as these priorities should have been established years ago. Your child should have known from the start that his schoolwork was his responsibility and that you had no intention of doing it for him. Or making sure he turned it in. The teachers may act like they are fans of Infinite Campus, but I assure you, they are bigger fans of students that show up prepared, respectful and ready to learn. Speaking of being respectful, I will not waste my time explaining that there is a dress code at this school. If you have ever let your child leave the house dressed inappropriately, then shame on you. If you are buying clothes that don’t meet our dress code, you are a part of the problem, but your child should be responsible enough by this age that he would be unwilling to break our rules. In fact, he should be embarrassed to break the rules. In the end, your student should be well aware of the dress code and the ultimate blame will fall on him and there will be consequences. We will not be afraid to enforce them no matter how popular or athletic your child might be. We are even willing to lose the big football game on Friday night to make sure your son becomes a better man.

Sincerely,
The Dean of Discipline

Since I am not at Dean of Discipline, I can only dream of receiving a letter like this. Instead, I am bombarded with every tip imaginable to be taking charge of my children’s work. The reality in my house is quite a bit different. My children know that I have never logged on to Infinite Campus and if there ever comes a time when I feel like I need to, life as they know it will drastically change. This parenting style has worked perfectly for 14 years and I am certain it will continue to work until our last child graduates and becomes an independent and responsible adult.

Highlighting a Success Story – Balee Drakulich

CourtneyOSeptember 10, 2014Comments OffBlog

I recently attended a mandatory parent meeting for high school athletics and then went to the breakout session for cheerleading (the sport one of my daughters participates in). I have been around the sports world for a very long time and was immediately impressed with the head coach as she brought up the importance of behaving on social media to her athletes. This is the first time I have ever heard a coach address the topic and outline consequences for the athletes if they were inappropriate on social media. When the head coach finished her part of the program, we were all introduced to one of the co-captains of the cheer squad. After listening to her talk to a large group of cheerleaders, I decided to write a column about her success as a teenager and share some of her important words of wisdom to these teenage girls.

Balee Drakulich, a junior in high school who is still just 16 years old, is the co-captain of the cheerleading squad and an honor student as well. She made the Varsity squad as a sophomore while also participating on a competitive cheer team which is a tremendous time commitment for any teenager. She has already completed many honors and Advanced Placement courses. She plans to attend college and is hoping to cheer at the university level as well. She maintains a 3.8 GPA in school while also earning her Community Service Letter (which requires 75 hours per year of volunteer work with at least two separate non-profit agencies). Between cheer, volunteer work and school, Balee is a very busy and determined young woman.

Last week, I had the opportunity to see Balee interviewed on live television before cheering in her first home football game and was so impressed with her poise under pressure. She attributes that ability to being an only child and her parents making sure that she was always part of adult conversations. She spent time in her younger years learning to act and model which both contributed to her amazing interpersonal skills that I have now seen on several occasions. Her parents, Bryan and Kimberly, have been married 18 years and have set solid boundaries for their daughter, which are clearly working. Balee was not allowed to get a smart phone until she started high school and her parents kept her off of social media until recently which has taught her the importance of communicating face to face if a problem arises. I so often see parents pushing for phones at young ages and allowing kids to have Facebook and Instagram accounts long before they understand the dangers of the internet. It is so refreshing to know I’m not the only parent pushing for these important boundaries.

The members of Balee’s cheer squad were very receptive to hear her encourage them to be responsible teammates. She pointed out to them that she would ensure they chose the right leader with her actions every day. She promised to set a good example, work hard and step up her game so that they would do the same. Balee also spoke about social media and provided some great life lessons to these teenage girls about watching what they post and understanding that it would reflect on them both in the present and in the future. She suggested that they not only consider the pictures they are taking but even looking in the background of the photo and making sure that others in the picture weren’t misbehaving or acting in a way that wasn’t in line with their own value system. She encouraged them to stay off of Twitter which is a site where many teenagers battle out their differences these days, and instead encouraged face to face resolution of problems. I feel very lucky to have met Balee Drakulich and want to meet more teenagers that stand out and give us hope that our country has a solid future coming. Unfortunately, most of the teenagers I see are posting inappropriate pictures and will hardly give eye contact to anyone because they don’t even know how to do it. If you know a teenager who is working hard like Balee to make a difference in the world, send me an e-mail at [email protected] and I will highlight him or her in a future column. We need our children to read real life examples of their peers succeeding and making good choices in their complicated world, so that they will be motivated to do the same. We can get these kids on track one teenager at a time.

9/30/2014

askkatiecoombsSeptember 10, 2014Comments OffBlog, Chris

Today our appointment is to see how Katie’s ovaries are responding to the medication she’s been taking. For almost a week now, she’s been injecting herself in the abdomen with two shots, twice daily. I, as proclaimed earlier, have become a master mixing, dosing and timing expert. But, I do feel bad for Katie after I prepare each morning or evening cocktail because she then has to inject them. Her belly is a bit bruised from previous shots. I should also point out that she has been nothing but pleasant to be around considering her body is coursing with excessive hormones and medications. So……good on ya Kate! We go to the appointment and Katie gets an ultrasound to determine how many follicles are growing in her ovaries. Similar to earlier experiences, Katie thinks there is going to be some problem, I know there won’t be one. And……the ultrasound proves me correct once again (Ahem.) as Katie’s ovaries do indeed have growing follicles. At this point she has 6-8 follicles which, as my pea brain understands it, means there are potentially 6-8 eggs. Also, there is still an opportunity for more follicles to develop. The doctor’s office gives us a break from our scheduled appointment tomorrow, but wants us to come in for our appointment in two days.

Myrtle – That’s a perfect number of eggs. Just what I thought you would have. Awesome!

#2 – Good job mom